the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
