so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
