R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
