Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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