I bet he comes in French.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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