Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
