my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize