i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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