I got chris browned last night
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
