I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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