He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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