did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
