Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
