I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
