sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize