we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
