We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
