p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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