Sponge bath it is.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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