I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
