I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
