could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Congratulations! We have a period
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