Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
