Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
