i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
