he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
