youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize