I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
