just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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