i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
