I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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