I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
