All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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