I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
