Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
