sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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