I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
