yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
