So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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