life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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