someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
