no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
