I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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