You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
