There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
