They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
