I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
