apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
honey bunches of taint.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
