i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
