Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
please don't ironically join a cult
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