I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
