This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize