You can't special order awesome
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
