yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she looked like the before picture.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
