imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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