I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
