Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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