I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
