You really coming over, don't trick.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
