remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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