Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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